Indistractable ( How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life) BY NIR EYAL
ABOUT THE BOOK
In Indistractable, Eyal reveals the hidden psychology driving us to distraction. He describes why solving the problem is not as simple as swearing off our devices: Abstinence is impractical and often makes us want more.
BUY THIS BOOK INDISTRACTABLE
Eyal lays bare the secret of finally doing what you say you will do with a four-step, research-backed model. Indistractable reveals the key to getting the best out of technology, without letting it get the best of us.
Inside, Eyal overturns conventional wisdom and reveals:
• Why distraction at work is a symptom of a dysfunctional company culture—and how to fix it
• What really drives human behaviour and why “time management is pain management”
• Why your relationships (and your sex life) depend on you becoming indistractable
• How to raise indistractable children in an increasingly distracting world
Empowering and optimistic, Indistractable provides practical, novel techniques to control your time and attention—helping you live the life you really want.
INDISTRACTABLE SUMMARY BY NIR EYAL
Chapter 1 ( Indistractable ) What’s Your Superpower?
Removing online technology didn’t work. I’d just replaced one distraction with another.
REMEMBER THIS •
We need to learn how to avoid distraction. Living the lives we want not only requires doing the right things but also necessitates not doing the things we know we’ll regret.
• The problem is deeper than tech. Being indistractable isn’t about being a Luddite. It’s about understanding the real reasons why we do things against our best interests.
• Here’s what it takes: We can be indistractable by learning and adopting four key strategies.
Chapter 2 Being Indistractable
Being indistractable means striving to do what you say you will do.
Distraction stops you from achieving your goals. It is any action that moves you away from what you really want.
• Traction leads you closer to your goals. It is any action that moves you toward what you really want.
• Triggers prompt both traction and distraction. External triggers prompt you to action with cues in your environment. Internal triggers prompt you to action with cues within you.
THE INDISTRACTABLE MODEL
Chapter 3 What Motivates Us, Really?
Even when we think we’re seeking pleasure, we’re actually driven by the desire to free ourselves from the pain of wanting
Simply put, the drive to relieve discomfort is the root cause of all our behaviour, while everything else is a proximate cause.
Solely blaming a smartphone for causing distraction is just as flawed as blaming a pedometer for making someone climb too many stairs
Only by understanding our pain can we begin to control it and find better ways to deal with negative urges.
- Understand the root cause of distraction. Distraction is about more than your devices. Separate proximate causes from the root cause.
• All motivation is a desire to escape discomfort. If a behaviour was previously effective at providing relief, we’re likely to continue using it as a tool to escape discomfort.
• Anything that stops discomfort is potentially addictive, but that doesn’t make it irresistible. If you know the drivers of your behavior, you can take steps to manage them.
Chapter 4 Time Management Is Pain Management
If distraction costs us time, then time management is pain management.
Dissatisfaction and discomfort dominate our brain’s default state, but we can use them to motivate us instead of defeat us.
It’s good to know that feeling bad isn’t actually bad; it’s exactly what survival of the fittest intended.
Time management is pain management. Distractions cost us time, and like all actions, they are spurred by the desire to escape discomfort.
• Evolution favoured dissatisfaction over contentment. Our tendencies toward boredom, negativity bias, rumination, and hedonic adaptation conspire to make sure we’re never satisfied for long.
• Dissatisfaction is responsible for our species’ advancements as much as its faults. It is an innate power that can be channelled to help us make things better.
• If we want to master distraction, we must learn to deal with discomfort.
Chapter 5 Deal with Distraction from Within
• Without techniques for disarming temptation, mental abstinence can backfire. Resisting an urge can trigger rumination and make the desire grow stronger.
• We can manage distractions that originate from within by changing how we think about them. We can reimagine the trigger, the task, and our temperament.
Chapter 6 Reimagine the Internal Trigger
• By reimagining an uncomfortable internal trigger, we can disarm it.
• Step 1. Look for the emotion preceding distraction. • Step 2. Write down the internal trigger.
• Step 3. Explore the negative sensation with curiosity instead of contempt.
• Step 4. Be extra cautious during liminal moments.
Chapter 7 Reimagine the Task
• We can master internal triggers by reimagining an otherwise dreary task. Fun and play can be used as tools to keep us focused.
• Play doesn’t have to be pleasurable. It just has to hold our attention.
• Deliberateness and novelty can be added to any task to make it fun.
Chapter 8 Reimagine Your Temperament
People who did not see willpower as a finite resource did not show signs of ego depletion.
Addicts’ beliefs regarding their powerlessness was just as significant in determining whether they would relapse after treatment as their level of physical dependence.
Self-compassion makes people more resilient to let downs by breaking the vicious cycle of stress that often accompanies failure.
Reimagining our temperament can help us manage our internal triggers.
• We don’t run out of willpower. Believing we do makes us less likely to accomplish our goals by providing a rationale to quit when we could otherwise persist.
• What we say to ourselves matters. Labeling yourself as having poor self-control is self-defeating.
• Practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend. People who are more self-compassionate are more resilient.
Chapter 9 Turn Your Values into Time
You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it’s distracting you from
You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it is distracting you from. Planning ahead is the only way to know the difference between traction and distraction.
• Does your calendar reflect your values? To be the person you want to be, you have to make time to live your values.
• Timebox your day. The three life domains of you, relationships, and work provide a framework for planning how to spend your time.
• Reflect and refine. Revise your schedule regularly, but you must commit to it once it’s set.
Chapter 10 Control the Inputs, Not the Outcomes
The one thing we control is the time we put into a task.
Schedule time for yourself first. You are at the centre of the three life domains. Without allocating time for yourself, the other two domains suffer.
• Show up when you say you will. You can’t always control what you get out of time you spend, but you can control how much time you put into a task.
• Input is much more certain than outcome. When it comes to living the life you want, making sure you allocate time to living your values is the only thing you should focus on.
Chapter 11 Schedule Important Relationships
The people we love most should not be content getting whatever time is left over. Everyone benefits when we hold time on our schedule to live up to our values and do our share.
The people you love deserve more than getting whatever time is left over. If someone is important to you, make regular time for them on your calendar.
• Go beyond scheduling date days with your significant other. Put domestic chores on your calendar to ensure an equitable split.
• A lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health. Ensure you maintain important relationships by scheduling time for regular get-togethers.
Chapter 12 Sync with Stakeholders at Work
Using a detailed, timeboxed schedule helps clarify the central trust pact between employers and employees.
Syncing your schedule with stakeholders at work is critical for making time for traction in your day. Without visibility into how you spend your time, colleagues and managers are more likely to distract you with superfluous tasks.
• Sync as frequently as your schedule changes. If your schedule template changes from day to day, have a daily check-in. However, most people find a weekly alignment is sufficient.
Chapter 13 Ask the Critical Question
Today, much of our struggle with distraction is a struggle with external triggers.
• External triggers often lead to distraction. Cues in our environment like the pings, dings, and rings from devices, as well as interruptions from other people, frequently take us off track.
• External triggers aren’t always harmful. If an external trigger leads us to traction, it serves us.
• We must ask ourselves: Is this trigger serving me, or am I serving it? Then we can hack back the external triggers that don’t serve us.
Chapter 14 Hack Back Work Interruptions
Interruptions lead to mistakes. You can’t do your best work if you’re frequently distracted.
• Open-office floor plans increase distraction.
• Defend your focus. Signal when you do not want to be interrupted. Use a screen sign or some other clear cue to let people know you are indistractable.
Chapter 15 Hack Back Email
• Break down the problem. Time spent on email (T) is a function of the number of messages received (n) multiplied by the average time (t) spent per message: T = n × t.
• Reduce the number of messages received. Schedule office hours, delay when messages are sent, and reduce time-wasting messages from reaching your inbox.
• Spend less time on each message. Label emails by when each message needs a response. Reply to emails during a scheduled time on your calendar.
Chapter 16 Hack Back Group Chat
• Real-time communication channels should be used sparingly. Time spent communicating should not come at the sacrifice of time spent concentrating.
• Company culture matters. Changing group chat practices may involve questioning company norms. We’ll discuss this topic in part five.
• Different communication channels have different uses. Rather than use every technology as an always-on channel, use the best tools for the job.
• Get in and get out. Group chat is great for replacing in-person meetings but terrible if it becomes an all-day affair.
Chapter 17 Hack Back Meetings
If we are going to spend our time in a meeting, we must make sure that we are present, both in body and mind
• Make it harder to call a meeting. To call a meeting, the organizer must circulate an agenda and briefing document.
• Meetings are for consensus building. With few exceptions, creative problem-solving should occur before the meeting, individually or in very small groups.
• Be fully present. People use devices during meetings to escape monotony and boredom, which subsequently makes meetings even worse.
• Have one laptop per meeting. Devices in everyone’s hands makes it more difficult to achieve the purpose of the meeting. With the exception of one laptop in the room for presenting information and taking notes, leave devices outside.
Chapter 18 Hack Back Your Smartphone
• You can hack back the external triggers on your phone in four steps and in less than one hour.
• Remove: Uninstall the apps you no longer need. • Replace: Shift where and when you use potentially distracting apps, like social media and YouTube, to your desktop instead of on your phone. Get a wristwatch so you don’t have to look at your phone for the time.
• Rearrange: Move any apps that may trigger mindless checking from your phone’s home screen.
• Reclaim: Change the notification settings for each app. Be very selective regarding which apps can send you sound and sight cues. Learn to use your phone’s Do Not Disturb settings.
Chapter 19 Hack Back Your Desktop
Removing unnecessary external triggers from our line of sight declutters our workspace and frees the mind to concentrate on what’s really important.
• Desktop clutter takes a heavy psychological toll on your attention. Clearing away external triggers in your digital workspace can help you stay focused.
• Turn off desktop notifications. Disabling notifications on your computer ensures you won’t get distracted by external triggers while doing focused work.
Chapter 20 Hack Back Online Articles
• Online articles are full of potentially distracting external triggers. Open tabs can pull us off course and tend to suck us down a time-wasting content vortex.
• Make a rule. Promise yourself you’ll save interesting content for later by using an app like Pocket.
• Surprise! You can multitask. Use multichannel multitasking like listening to articles while working out or taking walking meetings.
Chapter 21 Hack Back Feeds
Feeds, like the ones we scroll through on social media, are designed to keep you engaged. Feeds are full of external triggers that can drive us to distraction.
• Take control of feeds by hacking back. Use free browser extensions like News Feed Eradicator for Facebook, Newsfeed Burner, Open Multiple Websites, and DF Tube to remove distracting external triggers.
Chapter 22 The Power of Precommitments
• Being indistractable does not only require keeping distraction out. It also necessitates reining ourselves in.
• Precommitments can reduce the likelihood of distraction. They help us stick with decisions we’ve made in advance.
• Precommitments should only be used after the other three indistractable strategies have already been applied. Don’t skip the first three steps.
Chapter 23 Prevent Distraction with Effort Pacts
• An effort pact prevents distraction by making unwanted behaviors more difficult to do.
• In the age of the personal computer, social pressure to stay on task has largely disappeared. No one can see what you’re working on, so it’s easier to slack off. Working next to a colleague or friend for a set period of time can be a highly effective effort pact.
• You can use tech to stay off tech. Apps like SelfControl, Forest, and Focusmate can help you make effort pacts.
Chapter 24 Prevent Distraction with Price Pacts
• A price pact adds a cost to getting distracted. It has been shown to be a highly effective motivator.
• Price pacts are most effective when you can remove the external triggers that lead to distraction.
• Price pacts work best when the distraction is temporary. • Price pacts can be difficult to start. We fear making a price pact because we know we’ll have to actually do the thing we’re scared to do. • Learn self-compassion before making a price pact.
Chapter 25 Prevent Distraction with Identity Pacts
• Identity greatly influences our behaviour. People tend to align their actions with how they see themselves.
• An identity pact is a precommitment to a self-image. You can prevent distraction by acting in line with your identity.
• Become a noun. By assigning yourself a moniker, you increase the likelihood of following through with behaviours consistent with what you call yourself. Call yourself “indistractable.”
• Share with others. Teaching others solidifies your commitment, even if you’re still struggling. A great way to be indistractable is to tell friends about what you learned in this book and the changes you’re making in your life.
• Adopt rituals. Repeating mantras, keeping a timeboxed schedule, or performing other routines reinforces your identity and influences your future actions.
Part 5 How to Make Your Workplace Indistractable
Chapter 26 Distraction Is a Sign of Dysfunction
• Jobs where employees encounter high expectations and low control have been shown to lead to symptoms of depression.
• Depression-like symptoms are painful. When people feel bad, they use distractions to avoid their pain and regain a sense of control.
• Tech overuse at work is a symptom of a dysfunctional company culture.
• More tech use makes the underlying problems worse, perpetuating a “cycle of responsiveness.”
Chapter 27 Fixing Distraction Is a Test of Company Culture
Knowing that your voice matters and that you’re not stuck in an uncaring, unchangeable machine has a positive impact on well-being.
• Don’t suffer in silence. A workplace where people can’t talk about technology overuse is also one where people keep other important issues (and insights) to themselves.
• Knowing that your voice matters is essential. Teams that foster psychological safety and facilitate regular open discussions about concerns not only have fewer problems with distraction but also have happier employees and customers.
Chapter 28 The Indistractable Workplace
Slack’s corporate culture is an example of a work environment that hasn’t succumbed to the maddening cycle of responsiveness endemic to so many organizations today.
• Indistractable organizations, like Slack and BCG, foster psychological safety, provide a place for open discussions about concerns, and, most important, have leaders who exemplify the importance of doing focused work.
Part 6 How to Raise Indistractable Children
Chapter 29 Avoid Convenient Excuses
• Stop deflecting blame. When kids don’t act the way parents want, it’s natural to look for answers that help parents divert responsibility
• Techno-panics are nothing new. From the book, to the radio, to video games, the history of parenting is strewn with moral panic over things supposedly making kids act in strange ways.
• Tech isn’t evil. Used in the right way and in the right amounts, kids’ tech use can be beneficial, while too much (or too little) can have slightly harmful effects.
• Teach kids to be indistractable. Teaching children how to manage distraction will benefit them throughout their lives.
Chapter 30 Understand Their Internal Triggers
• Internal triggers drive behaviour. To understand how to help kids manage distraction, we need to start by understanding the source of the problem.
• Our kids need psychological nutrients. According to a widely accepted theory of human motivation, all people need three things to thrive: a sense of autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
• Distractions satisfy deficiencies. When our kids’ psychological needs are not met in the real world, they go looking for satisfaction—often in virtual environments.
• Kids need alternatives. Parents and guardians can take steps to help kids find balance between their online and offline worlds by providing more offline opportunities to find autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
• The four-part Indistractable Model is valuable for kids as well. Teach them methods for handling distraction, and, most important, model being indistractable yourself.
Chapter 31 Make Time for Traction Together
• Teach traction. With so many potential distractions in kids’ lives, teaching them how to make time for traction is critical.
• Just as with our own timeboxed schedules, kids can learn how to make time for what’s important to them. If they don’t learn to make their own plans in advance, kids will turn to distractions.
• It’s OK to let your kids fail. Failure is how we learn. Show kids how to adjust their schedules to make time to live up to their values.
Chapter 32 Help Them with External Triggers
• Teach your children to swim before they dive in. Like swimming in a pool, children should not be allowed to partake in certain risky behaviors before they are ready.
• Test for tech readiness. A good measure of a child’s readiness is the ability to manage distraction by using the settings on the device to turn off external triggers
• Kids need sleep. There is little justification for having a television or other potential distractions in a kid’s room overnight. Make sure nothing gets in the way of them getting good rest.
• Don’t be the unwanted external trigger. Respect their time and don’t interrupt them when they have scheduled time to focus on something, be that work or play.
Chapter 33 Teach Them to Make Their Own Pacts
• Don’t underestimate your child’s ability to precommit and follow through. Even young children can learn to use precommitments as long as they set the rules and know how to use a timer or some other binding system.
• Consumer skepticism is healthy. Understanding that companies are motivated to keep kids spending time watching or playing is an important part of teaching media literacy.
• Put the kids in charge. It’s only when kids practice monitoring their own behavior that they learn how to manage their own time and attention.
Part 7 How to Have Indistractable Relationships
Chapter 34 Spread Social Antibodies Among Friends
• Distraction in social situations can keep us from being fully present with important people in our lives. Interruptions degrade our ability to form close social bonds.
• Develop new social norms. We can tackle distraction among friends the same way we beat social smoking, by making it unacceptable to use devices in social situations. Prepare a few tactful phrases—like asking, “Is everything OK?”—to discourage phone usage among friends.
Chapter 35 Be an Indistractable Lover
• Distraction can be an impediment in our most intimate relationships. Instant digital connectivity can come at the expense of being fully present with those beside us.
• Indistractable partners reclaim time for togetherness. Following the four steps to becoming indistractable can ensure you make time for your partner.
• Now it’s your turn to become indistractable.
